Can’t keep my ass quiet!

Saludos

Since my last post many things already have changed again. Somehow I got a voice in me that conduct me to the right course. The day after the last post I went to the social department to fight for my right. I came into her office and brought all my documents with to proof that the adjudication was wrong and I’m allowed to receive the claim. She just opened the first page, read the letter and approved my claim! You may say I’ve been flabbergasted! –All my trembling if I’ll pass through this situation, all my fears about my existence – just blown away in less than five minutes! Unfortunately I won’t receive the amount I first expected, but at least I am in right! Thanks, God!

Starting this week, I’ve been on a one-on-one with a headhunter I already know since years. It has been very deflating! He showed up, that within my last jobs I didn’t give quite a good state for my CV. He said that going away from the bank into a SMB wasn’t a good choice. Right now he’ll look for a bridge solution within a bank till he can find something substantial for me, respectively my education. He said at least it was good to go for the BBA, but my last employer isn’t a good address and it might be challenging to find an adequate job. Finally he came up with addresses like, JP Morgan, Bank Pictet, etc. where he’ll look for this bridge solution-job! Hopefully, he’ll be successful! ;-)

Next week I’ve got again some other interviews with large companies. I expect, that for a bridge-solution I’ll find probably any kind of job within the next weeks.

My financial situation is still very challenging, but I could take up different arrangements with my debtors and actually all where willing to find a way. All beside one! The insurances are still waiting with their answer… -But also with them I’m actually looking forward for a suitable arrangement. I’ve got a kind of stance regarding these debts.

“If you handle arrangement with your debtors and face the debts, you control them. If you don’t handle any arrangement and don’t face the debts, -they control you!”

Right now I listen to the song: nobodies fault but mine

So it’s in my interest to handle them, better now than in future!

Apropos, one of the debtee was that kind, to decreed my debts in the height of CHF 5’000! She said, that because I’m willing to find the arrangement and approached her, she remit all my debts. Imagine (!) if I didn’t have faced my debts and if I wouldn’t have approached her, I’d never received something like this!

And here I am. Face the fact, but stay positive in your approach. I believe that I’m standing right on the brink of making it! Somehow the voice in me leads me through this whole situation and I believe that in the end it will be worthwhile. –Fantastic, now the song: here comes the sun just started!

If you ask me, how I do right now, I’d say I do quite good! I don’t get caught up; I look forward and believe with pure heart it will come again better!

Oh, regarding getting better, my private projects are very near to close! I can’t do any actions, but the parties confirmed almost all of the deals. I guess it works if you cross your fingers for my projects and me. Thank you & keep it up, please! :-D

Today’s motto: It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. Grace Hopper

Never, never, never give up!

Ciao Tutti

Days become harder and tougher each day. Beginning last week I called the social department regarding the outstanding incoming funds for the two months I didn’t have a job. In normal case, we’ve got in Switzerland a social department, which gives you an alternative income for the time of max. 400 days. This is a kind of safety net for person who did work for the last two years. You’ll just get something from the department, if you’ve been announced without any own fault. But by now, my old employer Comprendium wrote them, that it has been my own fault – and so I’m no longer allowed to receive funds from this safety net. Finally to cut it down: I’ve to answer back by the law! So again time passes by and I’m left stranded without any cash! I just take each day as it comes and try to survive without to use any money. –But it’s not a living, rather a surviving!

And if this story isn’t enough, my new employer told me, that they’d to postpone (again) the start for Switzerland. Not 4^th, also not the 15^th of August, now it’s getting September 2008! I rate this ever and anon postponing just simply as unprofessional or even shady. –So I had to make a new decision. Decision if I really want to put up this way and the answer is ‘no’!

What stays?

I need again a new strategy and a new plan how to come along. I guess the best focus is to look forward again and search for something conservative but after all substantial. I need to find an alternative job (try hire/temp-jobs/etc…) till end of this month! It’s a challenge I need to take now!

In the meantime there’s also again light at the end of the tunnel with my private projects. It looks like one of those deals seem to set in. Both counter parties have taken up the proceedings. Their negotiation will start within the next days. As soon they’re clear, the first kickback/provision might be expected by end of 2008 (hopefully even ahead of schedule). –So regarding this issue, I want to ask you to keep your fingers crossed for this project and me! Because when this will start, I can focus again on the substantial belongs of life. Factual I know, that I’m not allowed to expect anything from this (even if the project is by 98% the other 2% aren’t any longer under my management), but it’s an option I’ve opened myself by hard working the last months.

Each person on earth, who tries to live and not only to survive, has spread areas where to focus on. So have I, and I realized that actually more than 50% of my goals for life are set in fields where I have to work on my own person. For example I’ve wrote down:

- Be a man who’s word counts on!

- Always stay over things / be master of the situation

- Be a brilliant master for contract negotiation

- Be a loving person

- Handling/Be wise (spiritual and worldly-wise)

- Etc…

The other ~43% are goals in the area like material luxuries…

A sentence I use over and over again is: “I need to get clarity on what to focus on and what things mean to me!”

Right now this sentence is quite a challenge. On the one side I’ve got the acute financial situation to master and on the other side my career doesn’t set in the way I expected. The true challenge for me is to find the positive things in between to turn them into success. I try to look forward. Stay focused on the areas that need to be handled wisely and not to get caught up by the circumstances.

Today’s motto: Rinasce piu gloriosa / He arises new in bigger glory / Phoenix lat.

...and the show has to go on!

Chepas!

After reading my last post I tried to rate the state/mood I’ve been at this time. –Probably as all would slider out of my hands, just quite before I could re-catch. In the meantime my mood and state has changed again. A bit more of self-confidence. As I started operation “Mindfuck” I had to write anything down on paper. As I saw that the facts might point against me, I started to plan down all areas of life. Finally I realized that I already use my knowledge in practice. I found out that in several areas I use my knowledge already on a high stance.

So I asked questions like; how can I use it in the areas where I’d wish to be more focused? Where exactly can I powerful use the knowledge and in which areas it’s for no use? So breaking down the areas, I saw that I’m quite in a good position. I know now, that I need to show my full talent to succeed. This has blown my mind! Just a little more clarity and things don’t seem the same! So further on operation “Mindfuck” I guess the true point is to have a clear picture of your momentary situation. I realized that it’s asking the right question –focused on a target I need or want to reach, makes me be over things/circumstances. –Being master of the situation!

The shaping of operation “Mindfuck” finally struggled down on a simple project-master-file. A file each of us can make with an excel-sheet. I’m just planning ahead, split into a timetable and a project overview.

New division:

Two weekends ago I went with Fabienne and Co. to Val di Lei or Valle di Lei – actually it’s the same place just different written. I climbed up to a mountain peak early in the morning while the chaperones still chilled after a boozed evening – in cause of Fabienne’s birthday. On the top I left some prayers, yelled down the vale and returned for brunch. Actually I was out my estimation of climbing up in 30 minutes. I used more than the double and almost had to puke my guts out by reaching the peak! But reaching the target was satisfactory! I added some pix of the peak and of the view up there! It seems like heaven and earth are in harmonic state dancing with each other. Like, as freedom would fit the moment!

Today’s motto: My life is my message. Mahatma Ghandi

Pie in the sky!

Cheers me!

Have you ever been in the situation, where you knew that changes are standing on in your life, but because you move on a thin line between falling and winning you didn’t figure out in which way the changes will come?

Sometimes I get in the position where I think I risk too much. But on the other hand, I can’t face the situation and accept it how it is! It’s like: “Is this all I get?” But before I get into a melancholic state I need also to list up the facts. I’m now 28 years old and from August 08 I may start for a financing company as a sales & marketing manager/director. My earnings are beyond any ‘normal’ other persons in my age (6-digits a year). And still I’ve got the feeling that life doesn’t give me the piece I’m worth. As some of my readers know, I’ve also got debts. Debts aloft 5-digits! Even if I earn 6-digits, it will take too much time away before I can start to build up something substantial.

In the meantime I invested plenty of time to get also another deal set up in the commodity area. Some of the guys I work with are dreamers. Does it make me also an unprofessional dreamer? Probably a bit! Hard fact, but it’s a fact that I can’t move way. In other respects I got quit tough professionals, which want to move on with any possible way. But here I’ve got an axiom: “Don’t swim with the sharks if you’re a small fish!”

Also nothing else than realistic is not to introduce the dreamers with the pro’s. It might end in a way I’d loose both of them, because the dreamers might blow up the relation I’ve build up in the last years with the pro’s. I feel sorry to face also this fact, but it is. So here I am and finally came to the decision not to waste any time more in this direction, aside from what I’ve done already.

From next week on, I’ll focus on my new position as a sales & marketing manager/director. I’ve got already plenty of evaluated projects, which I can use for a fast and substantial start within the new company.

Finally coming still to another picture: Last week I made again something for my soul, spirituality and mental health. I went once again to a Christian’s Children-Camp as a camp leader. Unfortunately I just could stay for the half time, but at least I could take distance from my situation. I had very good conversations with people who care. I had a very nice nature ambience (see pic, the glacier is backing out). And I could just sooth my soul in this whole environment. It’s always very important to me to earth myself from time to time. Knowing from where I come and where I want to go. This camp, even if it has been a short time, helped me to find again the way I want to set in for my future. The time there also showed me another fact: “It’s my life and my responsibility who I’ll be in future.” For me it’s something I never lost. It’s an attribute I’ve always been used to, but maybe lost a little from my view. The attribute I’m taking is FIGHT! –For my future and my life it’s always worth to fight. But in the last weeks I’ve just been searching for excuses and I’ve been hiding from the painful reality that right now I need to stand up once again and to move on! –To fight!

Operation “Mindfuck” is still going on! I didn’t forget about it, but honestly it is way more than I first thought. So I’ll return on it ASAP.

Today’s motto: The winner in life is the one who stands up one more time than he falls! unknown

Water ski & facing the reality

Dear all,

My last weekend @ Fabienne’s place really helped me to get a little more distance from my momentary situation. I ate twice delicious dinner and learned to water ski. The longer it takes time till I can start with my new job, the longer it takes to get clear with my days. In the beginning of my cancellation period I looked forward on things and all in all I had a positive view on things around me. Right now I’m just living each day as it comes. I guess you may say: I’m living for the moment!

The challenge with this is to know that with 99% I can start a new job opportunity in August, but on the other side I need to survive till I can start. I further think that my silly projects I started along the way with two of my friends in fact aren’t profitable. –Also to face this fact doesn’t really motivate me to take a positive view on my situation. It’s always quite hard to admit the hard fact, that all your strengthen you’ve invested in the last months are of no earthly use!

But before I feel sorry for myself I want to come back on my last weekend. On Friday we went dining at Fabienne’s place. Her mother made a tomato risotto with a spice chicken. On Saturday we went to a (dogs-) farm to look for a pup for Fabienne’s godmother. As you can see on the 2^nd pic we also saw newborn pup. Really very cute! Than we actually started to discuss if we’re going home (to me) or we want to stay there. Than we found by coincidence the best compromise! Her brother called us and asked if we’re still at their home, because he’d like to go out on the lake with their boat and if we want we could go out later for dinner in a restaurant by the lake with him. Of course we approved! Than out on the lake her brother asked me if I want to water ski. And guess what a daredevil like me answered, even if I never went water-skiing … ‘YES’! It has been fun! Already after some tries I could stand on the water (-even if it has been shaky, but at least I could… ;-). But the falling on the water by my first tries took away many energy so after some times we stopped again and prepared ourselves for the dinner at the restaurant… After this eventful afternoon and evening we drove home to my place again, where we chilled all night long. So enclosed of this layer here: “Many thanks to Remo and Fabienne for this weekend. It was a doozie!”

Today I face again my small world. A world full of challenges, suffering and hoping on God’s help! I’m ensured that by August I can start my new job. On the other hand, I just can’t come along with the recovery office. My taxes two years ago smashed right back to my face! Someday I’ll have to accept that it is much more painful not to register his taxes, than to fill out these forms. But I’ve been stack up with so many other things, that I neglected my main-duties. So here I received my receipt! At least I could talk with the department for an agreed payment term. They even told me, that I made the right decision. Because if I wouldn’t have come, they would have came to my place and would have made an attachment on my movables! –I at least belong to the group of people that are answering for their failure! “D’oh!” At least once again I could survive the worst by take the responsibility!
But it’s nothing else than a pain in the ass!

I learned all the stuff for success and managing my money! I even studied economics and passed with a degree of a BBA (Bachelor of Business Administration) in the ranking (3.). But I’m still not getting out of mess. There’s a saying which all of us know: “It’s a difference of knowing something or doing what you know!” Somehow I belong to the group of people, which can’t put their knowledge into practice. –This is probably the one single thing I need to fulfil by the next days! I believe it’s the one and only goal for this week! This week I’ll take advantage of this deficit. I need to learn how to put my knowledge into practice!

How shall I start? Where do I start?
Shall I refresh the old knowledge or shall I start with a complete new strategy?
Which kind of resources shall I need for this operation?

That sounds good!
I’ll name it operation: “Mindfuck”
(Applied knowledge turns into HTH’s life!)

Today’s motto: Not because it’s challenging, we don’t risk, but because we not risk, it’s challenging! Seneca

To be spoilt for choice

Hey Guys!

Do you know the situation, when you know you have to do something but you just don’t…?!

I’ve found once again the comparative: I know I should do something, I even know what I should do, but I don’t!! Why? Because I lie to myself!

What do I mean?

- As you know I’m jobless right now. But I don’t do any applications, because in the last weeks I received plenty of offers – even if the market-situation isn’t on a high peak. But I drag myself with the decision. On the one side I’ve committed to a job in August as a director for sales & marketing. On the other side I should secure myself by also searching for an alternative. (-Just in case - to have a plan B)

But as usual I’ve got an explanation: I’ve already got something like a plan B! I’m still on a project with commodities. If this project will succeed, I’ve got a monthly income that can provide me for a one-year-distance. And so silly I am I just risk the lean time! And here the lie is hidden! In fact I should focus how I can provide the project into success. At least I should set some milestones. Because the whole matter is also reliant to other peoples, I’m just content with the situation as whole! I guess by writing this post I’m also getting clear that I should set this milestones for me! I shouldn’t make it reliant to other peoples! Because I’ve got a quite pragmatic view I know what it needs to succeed – so it’s just a must have for me. If I make it reliant to others, it probably won’t fulfil the way I want. I’ve learned project management in my studies – it’s time to use it. At my studies, I had the highest mark in this subject of our school. It’s time to use the learned…

Now to build a positive pressure in me, I need again to keep up the following rule: I can… / I will… / I must…!!! (If I can, I’ve an option. If I will, I’m on the way to do so. If I must, I’m already in the thick of it)

And that I can control my improvement I need to set the plan into the contact to box sequence! (The main four steps in this sequence are: Contact, Possible, Probable, Box)

Super heavy will be the July 08! I haven’t got a clue how to come along in this month. I just trust in God! I know he won’t let me fall and there’s a reason for the situation and position I’m involved right now. From my spiritual view, I look at it like a test! A test if I’m worth a chance! And I believe I am!

Today’s motto: „Man muß das Unmögliche Versuchen, um das Mögliche zu erreichen.“ (You have to try the impossible to accomplish the possible!) Herman Hesse

Time of waiting – again!

Cheereo tutti!

In the last days, it seemed like my life would pass by in slow motion. Are you familiar with such situations? ;-)

You know, that you should make some important decisions, but you always postpone them. Not because you’re to lazy or as such, but you still hope the big deal will set in and for this reason, you postpone all other. Right know it’s exactly like what I find again in my small world.

But at least I made it the S.M.A.R.T. way… (More details some posts before)

I’ve been very specific (S.) and know exactly my deadline on the issue with the ‘big-deal’. –Till end of this month – I know from when on I can start with plan B and which partners will be involved.

I’ve also been very keen in setting goals with milestones! (M. = Measurable + A. = Attainable)

Insofar I’ve set any of these goals in a realistic (R.) way. On the one hand I’ve got this ‘big-deal’ to work as a Head of International Projects for/with a start-up company that just started. But if this won’t work out, I can start (plan B) on the other hand as a Sales Director for a company, which is already very unshaken with their position in the market and already exists since more than twenty years! –I guess this includes also ‘tangible’ (T.) ;-)

So here again, in the moment nothing else is left over than waiting… waiting and hoping – but not naive hoping! =)

Harry, be patient!

Today’s motto: Consuetudo quasi altera natura! (Habits are the humans second nature) Cicero