...and the show has to go on!

Chepas!

After reading my last post I tried to rate the state/mood I’ve been at this time. –Probably as all would slider out of my hands, just quite before I could re-catch. In the meantime my mood and state has changed again. A bit more of self-confidence. As I started operation “Mindfuck” I had to write anything down on paper. As I saw that the facts might point against me, I started to plan down all areas of life. Finally I realized that I already use my knowledge in practice. I found out that in several areas I use my knowledge already on a high stance.

So I asked questions like; how can I use it in the areas where I’d wish to be more focused? Where exactly can I powerful use the knowledge and in which areas it’s for no use? So breaking down the areas, I saw that I’m quite in a good position. I know now, that I need to show my full talent to succeed. This has blown my mind! Just a little more clarity and things don’t seem the same! So further on operation “Mindfuck” I guess the true point is to have a clear picture of your momentary situation. I realized that it’s asking the right question –focused on a target I need or want to reach, makes me be over things/circumstances. –Being master of the situation!

The shaping of operation “Mindfuck” finally struggled down on a simple project-master-file. A file each of us can make with an excel-sheet. I’m just planning ahead, split into a timetable and a project overview.

New division:

Two weekends ago I went with Fabienne and Co. to Val di Lei or Valle di Lei – actually it’s the same place just different written. I climbed up to a mountain peak early in the morning while the chaperones still chilled after a boozed evening – in cause of Fabienne’s birthday. On the top I left some prayers, yelled down the vale and returned for brunch. Actually I was out my estimation of climbing up in 30 minutes. I used more than the double and almost had to puke my guts out by reaching the peak! But reaching the target was satisfactory! I added some pix of the peak and of the view up there! It seems like heaven and earth are in harmonic state dancing with each other. Like, as freedom would fit the moment!

Today’s motto: My life is my message. Mahatma Ghandi

Pie in the sky!

Cheers me!

Have you ever been in the situation, where you knew that changes are standing on in your life, but because you move on a thin line between falling and winning you didn’t figure out in which way the changes will come?

Sometimes I get in the position where I think I risk too much. But on the other hand, I can’t face the situation and accept it how it is! It’s like: “Is this all I get?” But before I get into a melancholic state I need also to list up the facts. I’m now 28 years old and from August 08 I may start for a financing company as a sales & marketing manager/director. My earnings are beyond any ‘normal’ other persons in my age (6-digits a year). And still I’ve got the feeling that life doesn’t give me the piece I’m worth. As some of my readers know, I’ve also got debts. Debts aloft 5-digits! Even if I earn 6-digits, it will take too much time away before I can start to build up something substantial.

In the meantime I invested plenty of time to get also another deal set up in the commodity area. Some of the guys I work with are dreamers. Does it make me also an unprofessional dreamer? Probably a bit! Hard fact, but it’s a fact that I can’t move way. In other respects I got quit tough professionals, which want to move on with any possible way. But here I’ve got an axiom: “Don’t swim with the sharks if you’re a small fish!”

Also nothing else than realistic is not to introduce the dreamers with the pro’s. It might end in a way I’d loose both of them, because the dreamers might blow up the relation I’ve build up in the last years with the pro’s. I feel sorry to face also this fact, but it is. So here I am and finally came to the decision not to waste any time more in this direction, aside from what I’ve done already.

From next week on, I’ll focus on my new position as a sales & marketing manager/director. I’ve got already plenty of evaluated projects, which I can use for a fast and substantial start within the new company.

Finally coming still to another picture: Last week I made again something for my soul, spirituality and mental health. I went once again to a Christian’s Children-Camp as a camp leader. Unfortunately I just could stay for the half time, but at least I could take distance from my situation. I had very good conversations with people who care. I had a very nice nature ambience (see pic, the glacier is backing out). And I could just sooth my soul in this whole environment. It’s always very important to me to earth myself from time to time. Knowing from where I come and where I want to go. This camp, even if it has been a short time, helped me to find again the way I want to set in for my future. The time there also showed me another fact: “It’s my life and my responsibility who I’ll be in future.” For me it’s something I never lost. It’s an attribute I’ve always been used to, but maybe lost a little from my view. The attribute I’m taking is FIGHT! –For my future and my life it’s always worth to fight. But in the last weeks I’ve just been searching for excuses and I’ve been hiding from the painful reality that right now I need to stand up once again and to move on! –To fight!

Operation “Mindfuck” is still going on! I didn’t forget about it, but honestly it is way more than I first thought. So I’ll return on it ASAP.

Today’s motto: The winner in life is the one who stands up one more time than he falls! unknown

Water ski & facing the reality

Dear all,

My last weekend @ Fabienne’s place really helped me to get a little more distance from my momentary situation. I ate twice delicious dinner and learned to water ski. The longer it takes time till I can start with my new job, the longer it takes to get clear with my days. In the beginning of my cancellation period I looked forward on things and all in all I had a positive view on things around me. Right now I’m just living each day as it comes. I guess you may say: I’m living for the moment!

The challenge with this is to know that with 99% I can start a new job opportunity in August, but on the other side I need to survive till I can start. I further think that my silly projects I started along the way with two of my friends in fact aren’t profitable. –Also to face this fact doesn’t really motivate me to take a positive view on my situation. It’s always quite hard to admit the hard fact, that all your strengthen you’ve invested in the last months are of no earthly use!

But before I feel sorry for myself I want to come back on my last weekend. On Friday we went dining at Fabienne’s place. Her mother made a tomato risotto with a spice chicken. On Saturday we went to a (dogs-) farm to look for a pup for Fabienne’s godmother. As you can see on the 2^nd pic we also saw newborn pup. Really very cute! Than we actually started to discuss if we’re going home (to me) or we want to stay there. Than we found by coincidence the best compromise! Her brother called us and asked if we’re still at their home, because he’d like to go out on the lake with their boat and if we want we could go out later for dinner in a restaurant by the lake with him. Of course we approved! Than out on the lake her brother asked me if I want to water ski. And guess what a daredevil like me answered, even if I never went water-skiing … ‘YES’! It has been fun! Already after some tries I could stand on the water (-even if it has been shaky, but at least I could… ;-). But the falling on the water by my first tries took away many energy so after some times we stopped again and prepared ourselves for the dinner at the restaurant… After this eventful afternoon and evening we drove home to my place again, where we chilled all night long. So enclosed of this layer here: “Many thanks to Remo and Fabienne for this weekend. It was a doozie!”

Today I face again my small world. A world full of challenges, suffering and hoping on God’s help! I’m ensured that by August I can start my new job. On the other hand, I just can’t come along with the recovery office. My taxes two years ago smashed right back to my face! Someday I’ll have to accept that it is much more painful not to register his taxes, than to fill out these forms. But I’ve been stack up with so many other things, that I neglected my main-duties. So here I received my receipt! At least I could talk with the department for an agreed payment term. They even told me, that I made the right decision. Because if I wouldn’t have come, they would have came to my place and would have made an attachment on my movables! –I at least belong to the group of people that are answering for their failure! “D’oh!” At least once again I could survive the worst by take the responsibility!
But it’s nothing else than a pain in the ass!

I learned all the stuff for success and managing my money! I even studied economics and passed with a degree of a BBA (Bachelor of Business Administration) in the ranking (3.). But I’m still not getting out of mess. There’s a saying which all of us know: “It’s a difference of knowing something or doing what you know!” Somehow I belong to the group of people, which can’t put their knowledge into practice. –This is probably the one single thing I need to fulfil by the next days! I believe it’s the one and only goal for this week! This week I’ll take advantage of this deficit. I need to learn how to put my knowledge into practice!

How shall I start? Where do I start?
Shall I refresh the old knowledge or shall I start with a complete new strategy?
Which kind of resources shall I need for this operation?

That sounds good!
I’ll name it operation: “Mindfuck”
(Applied knowledge turns into HTH’s life!)

Today’s motto: Not because it’s challenging, we don’t risk, but because we not risk, it’s challenging! Seneca