Merry X-Mas

Dear All

Once again X-mas eve. And soon the New Year stands again on front of the door. I want to use this chance, to thank you all for your support and motivating mails you gave me. I got an average traffic here of maybe 30 peoples a day.

In the last weeks, the fluctuation screw down a little more and more. From now on, I can’t write you on a daily base, but at least twice a week still will be possible.

Further thanks to all of you guys which asked me for devices in some messy situations. You guys are in truth the tough guys. You’ve got nuts, to ask for new options in life even if life works against you. And here I want to tell you, try hard and keep it up! Don’t ever let circumstances be your decider! You maybe fell into shit, but it’s also you, who struggles out of it with a simple decision. Finally, it’s it worth! As soon, that you’re clear with the fact, that you just can win and never loose, you’ll be on the winner-side.

If we won’t here us anymore, I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Today’s motto: If you can dream it, you can do it. Walt Disney

Running of no earthly use!

Hellomotto

Look at the good things – think positive, that’s my credo especially if it’s depending on my business areas. But once again in the end-year-rally, I’ve learned another important lesson for my life. Let me give you the story and hopefully, you’ll give me your feedback!

Some days ago, I told you about this really stupid prick of customer, which gives out delicate business related information’s and this even while he actually has signed the NDA (Non-disclosure Agreement). Well, he outgunned himself this time.

In the time, where I went to Munich, my boss met this customer for a business lunch. Quite forward while I’m sitting hundreds of kilometers away! No?! At last, I couldn’t interrupt or avoid it, or at least I should have joined them – he’s my customer! Than this foolish a***** spoke about the other deal, which has been very top secret. A commercial partnership of two companies of an amount of more than 500’000’000€ - and now guess what? Exactly! Now my boss wants not only to be involved to the whole case, he even wants to handle it under his own businesses! That’s just fuck’ silly!

But I have to see this case really positive! What is positive on it?

I’ve been sounding things out in a way, where even the upper management start to involve themselves. If the business fulfills, my reputation will be granted for the next year. My position, because I already brought the deal in our house, is actually strong enough, that they can’t get me out of the loop. Time’s running for me. The longer it takes, the more it will show who really takes action and who just sticks in to also profit.

And now to the good news: J

Today I’ve been invited to a private club, where you just get entry, if one of the members’s inviting you. I felt myself almost near to Jesus, when he was in the desert, ensnared by the devil himself. Or for the not so hardly believers; Like John Constantine, right before he started to deal with Satan. “Hellooo Joooo-oohn, …” @ the movie “Constantine” –One of my favorite movies.

But the bottom line is I was impressed. “Though guys”, I thought by myself. They invite their customer or such a small fish, got caught in a trap for sharks, like me. ;-) I’d likely want to show you more pictures, but the one I’ve got, is already speaking for it self. And if we really could make a growing partnership and hopefully this time nothing will be fishy with this one, than I guess we’re ready for big businesses. Really, really big business.

Today’s motto: In order to compose, all you need is to remember a tune that nobody else has thought of. Hubert Schumann

Busy days are peanuts! ;)

Hi Folks,

Munich was terrific. Once the new stadium and once the lobby of my hotel, where I have been, you may find on the pix right.

Let me give you a short ‘picture’ of my last two days:

Thursday morning I had the first customer-meeting at 9.00 a.m. After this appointment I visited another customer at 10.45 a.m. And from that one, I had to go home to eat and take with my luggage to the journey to Munich. Meet my coworker at the main station in Zurich at 1.16 p.m. for the train to Munich. (-First Class) J

On the run the train had a defect and we delayed 30 minutes. In the meantime, I wrote back my unanswered mails to make the best use of time. I made different calls to customer and my brokers, while the other employee started to curse me at the same time. (I love special kind of challenges) ;-)

We arrived finally Munich after 5,30h tour. Than we have been brought to the hotel with a “Taxi”, had just 30 Minutes to change our clothes and flied to the business-dinner. On the one side, I enjoyed the party, it was like a grand family and on the other side, I just found it suboptimal. Every second clerk came to me and started a conversation like:

Clerk: “Where are you from?”

Me: “Switzerland”

Clerk: “What are you doing? What is your position?”

Me: “I’m something like the extended arm in the market of our sales team. I’m Research and PR Manager.”

Clerk: “Oh do you know Mr. ***** ******?”

Me: “Yes, I do!”

Clerk: “Such an arrogant asshole! No?!”

Me: “Well, he’s my boss, what do you expect me to tell you?”

Clerk: “Nothing! I know he is an arrogant asshole!”

…End…

And now I just ask another question to you!

If every second person comes to you, asks you, if you know your own boss and what an asshole he is, how would you find this?

Friday morning very early I decided to go back to the hotel. Lucky me, my favorite colleague accompanied the way back at 2.00 a.m. Unfortunately he’ll leave our house end of January 2008!

At 8.30 our CEO wanted to call me actually, but however, he didn’t. And again however, I stood up earlier, because at 9.00 I had a prospect at the hotel waiting for me. You should have seen or pictured the eyes of the coworkers. It was very funny to see them gawking at me. Like if they wanted to tell me: “Freak (out)! On the day after the X-mas dinner you invite the customer to the lobby! You’re fuck’ nutz!”

Well how couldn’t I? –The amount is 5 Mio. Euro! But the storyline is that this guy even drove me home! He anyway had to go to Zurich, so he gave me a lift. We could use the time, to discuss his case. He was very happy, as I still invited him to my flat for a coffee. “That’s the least you could have done.” I thought by myself, because we drove without queuing or other incidences. Finally we arrives Zurich half an hour earlier, than expected and had another time gap. Than his meeting was near and he left, just good enough that I could make me some instant noodles to eat, before my next appointment started.

In the meeting the guy gave me quite a compliment after around one hour. He looked at me and asked me: “What have you learned Mr. Holzer? What is your background? You are very keen on this matter!” I explained him that I just studied economics, but in fact I had in the last few months many similar projects on the table. And this meeting took so much time, that I finally postponed the next meeting to Monday!

Now, back at home I wait for Roger, my bro’! But he’s caught up in a traffic jam. Later Fabienne will still come here and than I got again full house.

I find me in the last days again more pushy and focused. I see things critical and positive. It’s like if I would have got more clearance in life right now, than I had it some days ago.

So guys, I wish you a nice weekend.

Today’s motto: The two things that people want more than sex or money are recognition and praise. Mary Kay Ash

Thank you guys!

First of all, I want to thank you, dear readers, for giving me feedback. The last days passed through and I almost didn’t write anything in. But for my apology, you need to know the following story:

Mid last week, I had to go to the doctor. I had to make a checkup at the clinic for epilepsy. But before to be worried sick, I may say, that I’m healthy! They didn’t find anything. The doctor even wondering, how a man, who let’s inspect himself voluntary, could have such calm curves in the EEG. After the one check, where they maroon you to trembling flashlight and hyperventilate. I took between two and three breathing rate after the flashlight started and my brain wave curves returned to the calm state, as I was relaxing. The only thing I had in mind was breathing – no other thoughts! …

What also challenged me more than usual was the area of business, where I tried hard and finally started to shut down, like a computer. I realized that I finally sabotaged no one else than myself. As I saw, that I start to threat even my customer harshly, I distanced myself again more away from working. As if I wanted to find an excuse for all this behaving. As if “I tried to misuse – not working, would be better for my soul, because I don’t want to treat anybody harshly – as if that would be a reason!” ;-)

Well, once again the knowledge of finding the right question helped me out of this view. I looked what is working and what not. I sorted the do’s and the don’ts. And by the time now, I’m again in a state, where I can gain high resources.

You can’t make any changes, if the leverage isn’t strong enough. I tried to turn into a new mood. I took a new perspective and changed the focus on positive stuff. BUT, and this is a big ‘but’, it just held a short term. Why? Because the leverage on this kind of change, has just been will-power! –Not yet a belief or a conviction to turn my life around. And now, finally half a year later, step by step I started to sabotage myself. –I’ve seen small things fazed me immediate. I started to treat people harshly. All in all, in many ways I realized that my aggressive state took overhand. And now, at least, I’ve been smart enough, to realize it! Now I need to restart again with modeling persons, which found a way to succeed. Are you also having such people? Haven’t you got any person around you, where you can say, that you also want to follow? If no, make an imagination of such a person. How could the person be, that inspires you? Start to come up with something you not only know, will turn you into pleasure, but rather awakes the power in you, where the new idea, the new state of being, will turn into a conviction, a belief which no one else could doubt – not even yourself!

You must engage your voice to reach a peak state. Yelling loudly engages your whole body and pushes you into a more intense state. Peak state is useful for decision making, acting in spite of fear and simply feeling fantastic. Scream:

• NOW I AM THE VOICE (3x)
• I WILL LEAD, NOT FOLLOW
• I WILL BELIEVE, NOT DOUBT
• I WILL CREATE, NOT DESTROY
• I AM A FORCE FOR GOOD.
• I AM A LEADER
• DEFY THE ODDS!
• SET A NEW STANDARD!
• STEP UP! STEP UP! STEP UP!

© Anthony Robbins! J

This tool above, I have been learning at the Tony Robbins seminar “Unleash the power within!” in London! Sadly I almost forgot this “dream speak”. But now, I have got a new point of state, where it’s no longer focused on positive manners. (For sure I’m still thinking positive) I, well it sounds harder than it might be, found out that all the things, which will help me in future are already in me! I just have to remember them. And that’s the new challenge for me. Remembering what I already know to do in delicate situations. Really start now to unleash the power within myself! And yes, I won’t accept a deeper lifestyle or any step back. Now, that I came so far, I can’t go back. I go forward because it’s the only direction that left!

So folks, let’s start a new epoch. Let’s belong to the generation, where the following will say: “These guys made a new level of concentrated commitments! They raised their standards and moved into a fulfilling life! –We want to follow them!” And let’s be an inspiring spring for the people around us. Let this be the commitment you want to make. This doesn’t mean that you have to get rich or successful in job. What it means, is that you can live by the standards you create. It means that you are the designer of your own life! –Not the advertisement. Not the social environment. Not the news or politicians. Not the debts you’re in. YOU are responsible! Than it’s always in your opinion, on what you decide to focus on. Use the power! Like for instance my cousin (Ambressa - Amber). She’s in the same age like I’m. She has got a wish, a dream, a passion to be entrepreneur of her own gym! She took the chance! Jumped in the cold water and now step by step learns to swim. (www.ambernimedez.blogspot.com)

And do you know the funny thing about? If you try and try and it doesn’t work out, change your approach! Learn something from the failure and don’t stop till your dream became reality. This is the secret of the human, which I want to belong! Your decision, if you want to join. If you decide ‘yes’ – be aware, that you aren’t alone! Amber, me and many more do share you’re state and your dreams!

Today’s motto: If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise. Robert Fritz

Why some people are reasonless stupid!

Salut

I know the following story will be a little business related. I got to tell you about. I’ve got a customer, which wants to have a project financed through our house. Now this guy has been passed through by a broker. And as he wanted, we had to handle his project with absolute discretion. And here the real blame comes. As this prick wanted, we sent him a NDA (Non-disclosure agreement). He signed it and started to talk to the broker about the deal with us. He discussed high sensitive material after he signed the NDA – which actually would have a legal return on his doing! Than I called him and asked, if he still knew that he signed the NDA. The poor guy told me ‘yes’. And than I asked, if he ever has read it! ‘No’ the answer came back. Than I explained him, that from the date on he signed this paper, his mouth should be sealed. If not, it would have legally consequences with real high fine claims! –Anyhow… I guess he got the point and will put a sock in it!

I think positive as much as I can and as possible. In the last days, I didn’t keep up this belief. I noticed that already simply small cases faze me. I urgently need to come back again on my past habits mid this year. At the summertime, I received much more mails from readers. Many people searched my advices and wanted to adopt my life-philosophy.

And here the match comes right back! I know that all comes down to a single decision. This time I decide to return right back to the shape I had in summer. I need to trigger me again the same way, as I did at this time. Most important question is, on what I want to focus. Do you still know my posts regarding the concept of CANI (Constance and Never-ending improvement)? How many times did I already say to myself: “I’m much more, than I’m demonstrating right now”? But still haven’t got enough leverage. Still haven’t got enough internal pressure to get throughout any mess? What went false or shouldn’t I start to think what solution in life do I look after? I need to find a new successful concept.

One of my friends shortly came to me and asked me: “What’s up chap!? You got everything you wanted! You got a real pimp penthouse, a job where you earn more than 90% of the human (over US$ 100’000 a year), a hot car, friends, family, good health,… -Harry, what to fuck do you want?” I looked at him and yelled that I still got debts. And he answered with: “You jerk at least can afford those debts!” I was shocked to realize, that I’m no longer earthed. I was lost somewhere in space, but I wasn’t standing on earth with both legs.

I got to return back on the Christian rulez. I need to see again the things as they really are. I think positive and will turn right back to stay in shape and mood. Shoot! Sometimes life struggles down even if you’re on the winner’s side. ;-)

Today’s motto: Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. Henry Ford

Wowy week

Hello guys,

Sorry I didn't come up for such a long time. I was extremely engaged in the last days. Where shall I start?

My first own closed deal is done! ;-))) So what does it mean? That means, that I acquire the customer, than I had to deal the meeting with him, I shaped the contract with him and at last I made the final box (signature on the contract). The amount has been this time by 100’000 bucks. Now I still have got another 200 Millions in the pipeline and hope that more of them will follow.

Something less positive was a battle royal with a chat-room user in the chat where I’m a member. A young pussy, that since more than half a year tried to abuse my profile to hit Fabienne. Not because of any given reason, just as a valve for her own pleasure. Since more than six months I told her again and again, that she shall, sorry this expression, piss off! But unfortunately, she didn’t. She even hit stronger expression and still went ruder than all times before! Finally I’m fed up with it. I started to make some research and someone told me, that her father died this year. On her chat-room-profile she even had a picture of him there. And now guess what I did? I actually didn’t make it that gruffly. First I told her to let off for the last time. I asked her really very polite, but still no reaction, even more force came back, like I shouldn’t lurk her! And at this point I didn’t swallow any more. I gave action. I copied the pic of her father and uploaded it into my profile, with the comment: “Do you really want to wage a war with me? –Better don’t, you’ll loose!” Oh you should have seen this reaction of other users, all of a sudden, fifty comments came in, like: “You damn bastard, if I’ll see you on the street, I’ll kill you!” And more… My reaction on these comments was just: “Dear me…” And it seemed like this kind of answer has still provoke them more. But, the girly didn’t start to give back. She was quit and didn’t say one word more. As I told, I finally think, she got the point! Did I like to do this? –No way!!! I knew exactly, that many people will find this disgusting. It cloyed me even self. But what should I have done at this point? She forced me to take an exceptional reaction. And I studied a long time at this, if I really shall do it. And so I did it finally, because I didn’t see another possibility. And now the punch line comes. Today is the day after this whole shit and as I opened my mailbox of this chat-room, I had plenty of users congratulating me! People who say, that I made a good job. Or comments like: “Good guy, finally someone had the guts to smack that bitch!” Wow, you can’t imagine, how that felt for me, at the day before, I cloyed myself and on the next day people laud me! Crazy world!!! ;-)))

My days really did become longer. In the last days, my average working time is between 12 to 16 hours a day! Isn’t that foolish? But as it seems, it will give me also a payout at last. On the other side, I don’t believe I tell you this, I find it a kind of amused. Yes, I’m a fuck’ workaholic and I try to get fun on it…

Today’s motto: What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it’s the size of the fight in the dog. Dwight D. Eisenhower

Days become longer ;-)

HelloU

Since I started to gain more business where ever I can, my days become longer... But at least with much more style. Like today! I stood up, didn't hustle, just went slowly out of bed, made breakfast and ate, went to the bath and did my mornings. Left home and drove directly to the gym. There I made an “one hour workout” and visited the spa’ area for at least half an hour and finally went to work.

I didn’t close a deal today, but I made many things to gain more business in future. For example I won a new broker for me. Than a customer visited us here – unfortunately we had to neglect his query. Over lunch I went eating with my honey Fabienne. –Well it was not really eating lunch! We where in McDonald’s! A restaurant which you can just visited from time to time… maybe once a month maximal. :-P

In the afternoon I had an other customer with his whole committee (almost all members of the board where here). That has been a party… really very funny these guys. One explained me the whole stuff of how their product works. The other guy told me about their financial situation. Again an other guy has been responsible for the marketing. And the CEO as well owner of the company just narrate how the whole company started, like three generations ago, and so on…

Finally my boss and I asked them different questions regarding their securities within the next two years and as they couldn’t approach us on this, we finally disinvited them again. But honest, it has been very funny and I learned a lot about how you don’t have to do things in a presentation. :-D

Now it’s again half past eight in the evening and I finally worked again over 10 hours and still have to drive home. Regrettably I can’t write you tomorrow. Because from 10 o’clock a.m. I have to visit again a meeting. From then on, my day is full pushed with appointments and is scheduled up to seven in the evening. On days like this one, I really feel myself happy and fatigue. But in a way, where it’s very bearable. Do you get my point?

I want to proof you guys, that with hard and smart working, maybe your days become longer, but finally I’m sure, that it’s it worth! Never ever give up spending time for a profitable future.

Today’s motto: The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. Mark Twain

Why is success tricky?

Ciao tutti!

Yesterday evening I had a meeting with my project-group. As we where on to discuss our duties, we finally have seen, that we already have done more, than first expected. Really good, that I’m the project-leader, so I could organize the whole overview in shortest time! Of more than ten posts, we already are in the closure phase of four of them. In normal term, this kind of fulfillment would set in maybe just in the next two to three months, but two of our team made already much spadework. Thank you guys…

As well my business starts to move in a new hemisphere. During the meeting, one of my customers called me at almost 8 p.m.!!! He commit, that his business partners and himself decided, to give my 0.5% of the closure-amount of the whole deal as a provision. –Just like that! The only “if” is, that we still have to approve it! But I know that we wanted it already for such a long time… Now it looks like we could do it. So this kind of deal is anyway an exceptional one. And the earning with it is a very nice amount in the region of a deeper 6-digit number…

This morning I had a super nice experience as well. One of our customers called up and asked how far we’re with his query. In regard of it, he doesn’t think, that he can afford to take our money as it’s too expensive. So I asked him: “What do you mean with its too expensive?” Than he told me, that through our agent, the agent want’s an other 25% from the finance amount, we would give him. –First I thought he’s making jokes, but than I thought about the legality of it and unfortunately it’s allowed! –Shit, I thought first. But than my brilliance elegant solution came up! (Not that you think I’m getting slaphappy) I’m in need of the customer, but I’m also in need of this agent. How can I turn both content? Well the agent actually already receives a provision from our contract, but he wanted to earn both sides. A kind of unfair!

But the agent didn’t sign yet his agency agreement with us because he wanted still to make some changes, so what I did is the following: I went to our counsel and asked him, if before he sends out the agreement, he still could make a slightly change. I told him to add a new paragraph where it’s written, that our agents aren’t allowed to take (double) commission of our customers. And as our counsel said, it’s legal to insert such a paragraph.

Than I called the customer and told him, still to wait before signing our contract for the financing till the agent countersigned our agreement. In this case, the contract between our customer and our agent is null and void! :-D

I’m a fuck’ genius! *muahahahahaaaaa*

Well… -just kidding, but I’m really proud the way I could handle this strange issue. Now the customer is happy and will sign the contract with us and our agent can’t do anything else then be happy with the provision he already receives from us.

Today’s motto: Imagination is more important than knowledge. Albert Einstein

Running out of leisure :'-(

Salut

Unbelievable! I'm just running into the office. Hand-out my project-planning and explain it shortly. Now finished and have to leave again, because in less then 90 minutes I've to be again in Zurich for a meeting.

And do you know what? I'm loving it... :-D

So tomorrow I'll give you again a detailed post about my on-going!

Today's motto: The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life and you must accept regret. Henri Frédéric Amiel

Last man standing

Ciao!

My last weekend has been great. On Friday my friends visited me and on Saturday Fabienne and I went to my mummy to eat Raclette (for those, who don’t know what this is, it’s something similar like cheese-fondue – just an other Swiss specialty). And yesterday we stayed at home, just in the afternoon I showed my honey the slums of Switzerland. I made some pix, so you may have a look at them. What I didn’t know for such a long time was that this area is quite near to my accommodation! Just like 100 Meters away from me this area starts!

Yeah, I don’t make good advertisement for my country if you see those pix, but I have to tell you, that we’ve got also other cities, where they’ve got the same problem. How come we, the supreme city of the whole world – as you know best awarded city now for more than four years in a row – has got such a problem? –A slum area!

As my luv and I looked at them, we discussed some possibilities. Like, each person in Switzerland has the chance to become more. Those guys there don’t want! They decided once upon a time, that it would be easier to be on our pocket/mean. I’m just a little addled regarding this issue; I have never expected that Switzerland has got such black spots on their clean slate!

Today I was so down when I went to work. Not because the story I just wrote. Just because I was sooooooo tired. I thought I wouldn’t make one deal today, but than my inner voice started to razz me! “Common Harry boy! Just get up and move! Every day without making a deal is a lost day and you can’t afford any lost days more, as you know your situation, nor?????” Bastard! This stupid bothersome voice in me didn’t stop till I finally closed two deals… :-D

In the meantime I’m again pushed throughout this result and look already forward on the next day. This afternoon I’ve to create and finish a whole project planning! It’s no bed of roses! Probably I’ll stay again in the office like 7-8 p.m.! But never mind, what else would I have to do on a beautiful Monday afternoon???

As you, dear reader, could see in the last days and weeks, many crazy and shitty things happened in my life. But I hope you also see, that it doesn’t depend in which situation I am, I still got the belief, that all will change to the best. And more important than that is, that I not just ‘hope’ – I also move! And this I believe is the key to success! After I strengthen my belief, that things won’t stay the way they are right now – you need to give an action! And you have to stay on track with the right questions. Question that will move you upon your situation into a positive goal! I stopped to ask myself question, where I start to doubt things! It won’t bring you any further! And honestly, when you start? ;-)

Today’s motto: You can only become a winner if you are willing to walk over the edge. Ronald E. McNair

Switzerland is white white white

chepas!

And with this title I don't mean it the right wing way... As I drove to work this morning, I just had to make some pix. Look at my outview, that I've got each morning by nice weather on the way to work! Isn't it just marvelous?

Today I've done many things in advance to prepair my weekend and next week. Actually, I wanted to go to training again, but unfortunately I'm running once again out of time.


Today's motto: Goals are dreams with a deadline. Brian Tracy(?)

huaaaaa....

Salli

Snowy snowy Switzerland...

I'm sorry to make it once again that short, but I have to:

• This morning I made again three deals!
• This afternoon, I have got again two appointments.
• I'm so thight under positive pressure, that I hope to write you more next time!
• To inform my reader, I'm really again on the up and up ;-)
• I've been informed, that I have to go as a military-clerk at the WEF in Davos :-(

Wish you guy a very successful day!

Today's motto: To succeed in business it is necessary to make others see things as you see them. John H. Patterson

busy business

Tschou!

In the last days, my life seems to get more and more clear with a straight outview into a successful future... WHY???

I'm in the position, where I have my back to the wall. I haven't got an other possibility, than to go forward... forward in almost any area of my life. Business, money, body and probably also in my environment.

With the business, the appointment yesterday didn't set in. The other guy has been at the meeting-point two hours earlier than we where and he missunderstood the right time and left again. Just stupid this guy!!! How dare from him, just to leave, when the business I could approach would be that lucrative...

But this morning I closed once again two new deals! I quite proud again. Than I could handle a request regarding an investor, who wants to invest some money in a company. Now I await a confirm of the company... :-D

Here in Switzerland it starts to snow all over. The streets are very slippery and alone this morning over 200 accidents have been reported through the news!!! Since one month, the state tells us to put on the winter-tires... I guess there where at least 200, who didn't hear it... :-))))

So guys... I'd like to write more, unfortunately I have to go again to a meeting and won't return anymore to office. In other words, till to tomorrow.

Today's motto: The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. Vidal Sassoon (Pic: Compredium SA)

Look at the bright side of life!

Hellomotto!

How am I today? I think many of my readers wanna know... To tell you, I FEEL GOOD!! As I told last time, I'm just getting tired with the situation. -And I gave the responsibility to my luv! As she showed me this weekend, she seems to handle the responsibility quite good. She knew how to carry on and took advantage. And also not to misunderstand, the verbalism 'fucked up'! My family-members and friends in the US use it to express how we feel, as if just straight away the whole world seems to crack over one's head. I could also have expressed it: "I'm near to collapse!"

Now what for views have changed within the last weekend, where I feeled myself so overfatigue?

As I already wrote, there have been different things comming up at once. I felt like all things come up at once! And before weekend, I thought I couldn't stand it alone. I felt myself like a (very very very) small fart in the universe. But than I remembered again, for what I do stand in life.

I had no other choice, than to ask myself the right questions:

• Which areas I've builed up with new affirmations... ?
  
• What are those new standards, where I'm looking at?
• What can I do right now, to bring me back into good shape?
• What do I believe in?

And with the last question, I answered ...:

• ...-I believe into the relationship with Fabienne.
• ...-I believe, that things won't stay always this way!
• ...-I believe, that there's always a way out of all.
• ...-I believe in me and my possibilities to change everything into something good again!
• ...-I believe, that I'm much more, than I'm demonstrating right now in my life!

And not to forget, I had people supporting me! My luv and my dad! Both person, helped me in finding the right questions. They knew, how to get through this, without to make any reproaches! That's quite important! So I could catch myself again and today, I'm again in clear and specific mood to succeed! Such situations have got the power to throw you out off course, but as you see, it's more important to get back again.

Now my business-area looks good. Not directly where I'm hired... ;-) - But what new project has been carried to me in the last days.

Because it's a very delicate branch of business, I can't talk about yet. I got to know someone new. This person is a tycoon. And it wants me to make clear a new deal, where I have to develop a foreign market. Well anyhow... more - later! :-D

Today's motto: The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. Robert Frost

Missing Yesterday's entry!

HiU

Yesterday I made a long entry regarding which situation I face in the moment. Somehow, all of it disappeared. Probabely, a higher force didn't make it possible... ;-)

Many things are starting to take influence in my life. Here a short summary:

• The prosecution department fined me!
• The entry will be finally cleared, after an agreement with the deptee.
• My salary almost would have been attached of wages!
• I got a € 40 Mio. deal that looks like we would handle this one ;-)
• I got a private deal with metalls, which seems also like it would come up to fulfill.
• I got worries with Fabienne and her family (where I'll come back later)
• My bro' starts to get in same mess like me with the prosecution department :-(

Yesterday evening I still met a guy, which would or better should help me with the metall-deal! Unfortunately he's also just a trader between, but as it seems, he's got a good clientele for whom he's active. -I can't tell you any names, but they used to come out from Glencore.
Than this morning, I called my joker regarding the metall-deal. She will guide me now through my first contract in this class of business. I trust her 100%, she's a professional with those contracts and does this now for more than 30 years. -So I guess, that will become something real interesting. :-D

Something less heady yesterday evening has been the long chat with Fabienne. I'm thankful, that she made tabularasa with open questions or issues. Many things showed me, that her family isn't that open minded as I would have wished from the beginning. After this discussion, I stayed awake all night long. I didn't sleep till current hour and I'm completely fucked up right now. (I try to be awake, but I almost fall down the chair)

Somewhere, where my thoughts circled around is the tag "doobie smoking". I know and accept, that her family probabely doesn't find it good. They also committed it to me directly, -her father via email. I answered back the email and heared later, that he gave her a contrast:

On the one side, I do miss-accept people, who take antidepressants. But on the other side, I smoke a bag! This isn't coherent from me, because if I 'really' believe in the unlimited power of the brain, I shall demonstrate it fully or not even a bit!

Isn't it a very strong evidence?! As I heared it, I didn't know how to react. If you just hear it, it sound logic. But if you think about honestly, than you have to set this picture also in an other perspective! I see it similiar like a glass of wine. Too much alcohol, will also damage your brainfunctions and/or physical impairment. So I got the same diseases, if I smoke too many spliffs. But the way I use it, is the same way like all other pleasing products! And I see, also many other persons, using pleasing products regularly. How shall I compare a medical treatment with a pleasing product? One you have to take (maybe), the other you take voluntary. After all, I find this contrast unfair! It sounds good, but in MY EYES it's a contrast to compare apples and oranges!

Than I heared further, that the last discussion with her parents didn't taste good. I left a bad impression. Suspectly I guess it's similiar to the old view some people had from me: Harry the cadger...! -I was thinking a long time about, when I was last suspected as this... Maybe ten years ago? Funny is, that all persons, which have told me this in the past, came to me in the meantime to ask for pardon! These people come now and tell me, that they never ever have thought, that I would turn around this way I'm now! I'm an human, that really has been pretty burned in the past with this. So if I come into a new environment, I carefully ease my person. And the funny thing with this one here is, that with the last chat I had with them, I thought at that time, how nice it is, that I droped into an environment, where I also just can be as I am! Be and stay naturally and 100% faithfully! And now, as I opened myself after more than a half a year, this is the feedback I received.

This issues, didn't let me sleep. I have been talking with two psychological parents! A friend and a familymember and both guys told me, to be more carefully in future. In case it's already adopting such forms, it might stay same in the future...! After all what happened to me in the last days (the attack, my deptees, businesses, etc...), no-one of them could empathize my situation. -I should have been the person, which has to be clement with others! -But, no-one is or has been it with me!

So where am I now? In the relationship with Fabienne, I'm getting tired. I'm tired always being the 'bad guy' and I'm fucking getting tired that I can't be as I am. In her environment, it showed me once again, naturally and 100% faithfully will be unhonored. Better be skin-deep and not show, who I really am. Worse luck.

Also to you guys which read my blog, I expect, that now, when I write you that unsettled MY point of VIEW, I won't receive any backing. -Just find two layers above what I wrote. -It should be me to clement others... -I'm even now at that point, where I don't give any effort more. Anyway, it's in her hands. She shall decide, if she wants to share the future by my side or if she better search for a good catch. -I don't seam to be one for her... (a sportive, charming, on the up and up being, honest, naturally, faithfully, very good earning, young man - stupid me, I always thought, I would be a good catch)

The last time in my life, where I had a sleepless night regarding a relationship with my girlfriend is ... -I just can't remember. I'm really fucked up now. No power more, no will, no nothing. Just take it as it is...

Well guys... I have to work and verify my bonus of CHF 12'000.- for end of this month... a typical earning of a cadger...

Today's motto: Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. Mother Teresa

collapse like a house of cards

Hello

In the moment I got so many things to do. Many things seem like taking overhand over my particular situation in life.

As I wrote, I had an attack last weekend. Now Fabienne's father brought himself in the loop. He wanted to give me background-informations and wanted to backup my knowhow regarding this attack. As I got myself some persons in my family, which do have epilepsy as a sickness. I had myself in the past two attacks in regard of having them provokated. Those ones meen, that I had two provokative epileptic attacks. Provokated meens from outside on, such comes from drugs, alcohol, flashlights, etc...

I'm always honest, so this time, I had it with a mixture of drugs and alcohol. Would this meen now, that I should stop taking drugs or alcohol? -Maybe, but it's not confirmed, that I should have had an epileptic attack. Well I had one for sure, but I don't know yet, if it's a sickness! In 1997 and 2004 I had also attacks and the hospitals have checked me in the EKG and EEG. With the last one, an epileptic showes clear curves in a raster - I didn't! Also within the second time, there where no curves around.

Now, because of this what happened, her father suggest, I should preventive avoid any situation, where a guy, who has got this as a sickness may fall into an other attack. That would also meen stop to skin up! -And to tell you, I don't want to stop this, unless it isn't confirmed, that I HAVE to... ;-)

I know, the best would be, to completely drop all those stuffs and direction a new healthy way! But I just can't imagine it. I still link too much pleasure with than without. And here I am...

Well yeah, I wrote her father again a letter back. In there I wrote, that I accept his views and that I got my own. Than I called Fabienne to inform her, what I'm gonna write her father. My gosh...! Wipe-out! As she took of the phone, I heared a sniff in my ear. Than I asked, what's up and she yelled inside the hearer. Before I called I wrote her a text, that with a huge possibility, she'll side on her fathers view. But this sentence didn't fall on fertile soil! And just along this small dispute, I had again one hour of my workingtime passing by... I hate it, if there's something private reflecting my business. And so I hang up! She called again and my colleague forwarded Fabienne again to me. -Later the same guy came to me and said: "What was this for a crosspatch!?" -I answered with "my girlfriend"

Before he turned red, I told him it's okay... She just had a long day...! But you should have seen him... some how like jitter...

Nevermind at last. I told her, that I got other, more important things to do... and so I postponed our chat to somewhen later. (And as I learned, don't say a lady, that you got better things to do... -bad idea) ;-)

Well, did I work since our dispute? -No, I just hang around and thought how bad the timing for such shit is. But in fact, tomorrow I have to show again 110% of my mastery. Motivation comes with the challenge!

By the way on the pic, you find da Vinci's first draw about an epileptic. Supported by neuro24.com // which also write at their homepage, that an attack isn't the sickness and that you at least have to have twice an attack without any trigger (lack of sleep, drugs, alc...)

Today's motto: Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. Mark Twain

I'm a pray

Hello

I'll write you more tomorrow, but here a pic of my accident last weekend. Isn't it looking pretty? ;-) I have had a 'grand-mal' epileptic attack after an overacting night with my friends. I can't tell you any details, but to be honest, it was nearly in the gray area of the law...



Today's motto: The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life and you must accept regret. Henri Frédéric Amiel

Never abandon

Tschou Zäme!

In the last days, I'm again more focused on my inner compass. I look more and more on how I can optimize my situation. In all those good posts of the last days, how much assets I could push into the sales-pipeline, one thing didn't change! My depts! Well I could come away from 40 to 30 kilo. But the 30 kilo is much more agressive now!

The deptees wants to see cash now. If not, they want to attache my earnings. Imagine how this would come, if they would call my company and tell my employer, that I've to give them my salary... Not good at all!

Well this message has been jammed into my door as I came home yesterday afternoon. Apropos, yesterday was a bank holiday -so I just worked in the morning and had off in the afternoon. I wasn't that happy to find this letter. I focused on what I can do now, to take out the best return of the situation. I decided to take all my documents of accounts and payslip and bring it to the depatment of recovery of claims this morning!

The guy there was like surprized to see me! He told me, that they have sent me plenty of invitations, -without reaction! I countered, that I've got a trustee doing this 'shit' for me. And than the guy said, that my trustee just called up once and just wrote one letter to them and thaught, that this effort would be enough. -Unfortunately it wasn't!

So as you see, the cause of defect has been my fuck' trustee! So what the heck did he think? To be honest, I thaught it would be over! A dream just like melting away. I thaught, that my trustee would be a shark. He had all authorizations for my accounts and just deepened them and piss off!

And after this vision came up, I told myself NO WAY! Think positive, Harry! Call him and let him explain this. So I asked the guy of the department of recovery of claims, if he could print out all of these open receivable bills. Later this morning I faxed them to my trustee and waited, till he would maybe give an action. -With the idea to control, if he really just works sloppy or if he takes our fiduciary relation honestly. Still as the fax faxed, he called up, -finally!

He excused like different times, that he didn't work on this with the right intention and he just simply underrated the whole case, because I seemed quite calm on this. My answer was a kind of hollywood-like:

Trustee: Please excuse me, I can't explain, why I didn't handle your accounts with the right intention. I've just been affected with your calm being. It didn't seem that urgent for you, so I thaught wrongly, that I would still have some time to handle it. Most people in similar situation aren´t that cool.

ME: What did you expect? Shall I cry and talk trashy? Would this help me?

In the end, we decided, to handle the whole case together next Monday! I got to search for solutions. I showed to the depatment of recovery of claims, that I don't hide myself from them. They know now exactly, how much I earn and they decided not to attache my earnings, because with my salary, I just need to find an arrangement with my deptees. At last, they gave me one week to handle it with my deptees.

I guess, some years before I would have reacted different. I would have tried to ask any kind of person, if they would lean me something, that I could pay my accounts. An usual victim on such acts would have been my father. But not this time! I had barely to admit, that this time I would have to handle this challenge by my own. -And to tell you, it hurts! But I know and trust the feeling, that in the end, I can congrats myself! I have to stand straight! And this time I gonna handle it myself!

Today's motto: In skating over thin ice, our safety is in our speed... Ralph Waldo Emerson

Commodities

Hi

In the last days, as you also easy cognize, I heavily write long posts. That isn't, because the ideas would fall out! It's because in the last days, business really seems to boom. Per day, I got at least one to two appointments. Further I got my daily duties to fulfill, what also takes way half a day. And in the evening, I work more, that I can gain more business, for myself.

In the moment, I got several guys running for me, regarding commodities. I got some buyers, who want to take iron ore in a quantity, where most sellers have got the feeling, that it would be no longer honest-business. Some already asked me, if I work for the mafia... *lol*

To calm those guys down again, I nicely neglect them. I got buyers for:

1. iron ore - 62% - 100,000 MT / per month
2. gold - 999,5 - 5 to 25 Metric tonnes / per month
3. copper - 97% - 80 to 92 MT / per month

Those buyers don't belong to any illegal organisations! It's a chinese tycoon! -More I won't tell you over internet. But if you got the guts and the possibilities, write me an email on harry.holzer@gmail.com! -Quite lucrative! ;-)

And how did I come on this? I rised up my skills in networketing. I met more and more people from the higher social strata. Those people are mentors in different levels. And those guys really push you into such businesses. -If you let them. Through this, I get to know two new friends. These two guys, are already willing to make their own business. And they would like to take me on board, because my skills in networketing is quite high.

I didn't rise those skills up by attention! I want to come back on a principle, that I anchored into my life. The principle of CANI! The commitment to Constant And Never-ending Improvement!

The principle has been invented from no one else, than Anthony Robbins. On his homepage www.tonyrobbins.com, you may find the audio-file of this tool.

Go for it. I can't write down, that I'm a millionaire now! I can tell you, that my life in plenty of areas changed within the last 12 months. Go through this blog! Start from the very beginning. And you'll see, that the story I realize/cary out, is steady building up! Step by Step I became more and more.

I earn more! I got more responsibility! I got more social contacts. And so on...! Why? Because I committed myself to CANI! Can I hold it up always? No! But as Vilfredo Pareto already wrote down in his 80/20-principle! The goal is, the live 80% in good times and 20% in less positive times. Or 20% effort struggle 80% of gain! -Or opposite! But I prefer the positive! ;-)

What can I say closing? I don't know, where this journey ends! I just can't stop going on and trust, that in the end, I'll be reaping, as I sow! The law of nature! And there are many of them!

Today's motto: Ability is nothing without opportunity. Napoleon Bonaparte

Running out of time

HiU

The weekend has been very chilling. But on Monday, I just fall into a rush. I had plenty of things to do simultaneously. I didn't scatter my mind, but I was that focused on the urgent and important things, that I demote the blog. So sorry for that.

I got like a 100 Mio. bucks in the direct sales-pipeline, where I still await their decision. An other 100 Mio. bucks are still open to be included into this pipeline. I estimate a possibility of around 10% for closings. That would be in my case an provision of around 20'k bucks.

But shooot! I got to speed up again! I have a meeting with an other customer in 60 Minutes... I got to leave again.

Today's motto: The reason a lot of people do not recognise opportunity is because it usually goes around wearing overalls looking like hard work.Thomas A. Edison

whuhaaa...

Hello!

Sorry I'm in rush today. Tomorrow I've got many things to write down. ;-) Peace!

Lg Harry

gentleman's concert

Bonjour!

At Wednesday the concert has been a real party! I haven't seen something like this, than for more than ten years now. Something, what was very striking, where all "weeder" (weedheads) in there. My gosh... You probabely would have attract attention, if you would have smoked normal cigarettes in there. :-)

As I am, I never want to annoy anyone... ;-)

Even the rasta-man "surprise" from Amsterdam yelled: "You guys in Switzerland smoke more weed, than all of us in Amsterdam. But with us, it's legally alowed!" And all of the shitheads answered with a laughter. Than he laught back, took his joint and startet to ragga!

Than, with a delay of almost half an hour, gentleman ascend the stage! Through-out his whole gig, he smoked like 3 joints on the stage. He even lampoon the volks with several jokes. Than he made good again his delay from the beginning, by offering the house an encore of ten tracks! Imagine this kind of encore! The peoples in there really started to rock the house and as it has seemt, he enjoyed the Swiss kind of party - as he sad in the end.

Anyhow, during the concert, all of a sudden the girl on my left pass out! So as I am, I made the first aid on her, to see, if there's something really urgent on her. And as I didn't receive any action from her, I wanted to carry her out to the care center. Exactly as I took her on to carry her out, she opened her eyes and looked like stolen - what she does on my arms... Well I asked her, if she's again fully restored. She sad "yes"! And than I but her of again forced her to count fingers and as she passed also through this, I just let her go. But I was like aggrieved! I had the feeling, that this small groupie, just played that way. Neverthless, she and her friend thanked and left away.

Than with the sixth encore, Simon looked like at the floor without any reactions... -Like if he would be petrified! So I decided to better leave slowly, with the objection, than I wanna leave, before the crowd would leave and we would be sticked at the hall there till late.

Lucky me, that on the next day (yesterday) I informed already all staffs, that I'll work from at home... Probabely one of the wisest decisions I made.

This weekend looks like it would be again less wild and more relaxing. This evening, some guests will come up to watch a movie and from tomorrow on, I'll be again calming down alone with Fabienne. I'm looking honestly forward to a real lazy weekend! :-)

Also to you guys, have a nice weekend!

Today's motto: What on earth would a man do with himself if something didn’t stand in his way? H.G. Wells

Perfect day after illness

There you are!

After my yesterday's dropout in 'cause of illness, I started today in a really easy way... I stood up, without using an alarm to get up. Ate breakfast, did my ablutions, drag on something comfortable and went to work. Now at work, just doing my open duties and will drift it again. The duties are actually updating all lists before I leave again.

This evening, I'll meet once again Naemi. You probabely still remember her from the very beginning of this blog. She's my ex-g'friend. To put it bluntly, my ex-fiancée. We just want to meet again to give a little chat. Since we have separated, we've committed anyway to stay in contact. Because we have stayed more than seven years together. But don't think that we still stick to each other. -We just meet us from time to time.

Regarding the other view, there's a roule, that I just want to give her words (she told this to me, to actually give further to Fabienne): "I'd never accelerate you in an affront situation. I've got seven years with you and if you would cheat Fabienne with me, my dream that you would have been the right man, who never would give himself in such situation, would burgle down."

So if this isn't a commitment, what else?! And it also wouldn't be right the christian way. A way, where I committed myself...!

BUT, and this is a huge and big BUT! Simon just wrote me a message. It seems like he won two ticket to the concert of "gentleman"! He wants me to accompany him... yeeeeehaaaaa!

I'm sorry for Naemi and I'm looking forward to the concert. She'll understand this. I mean, how many times, are you that lucky, to win in a contest?

Now the best on this all is, that I already informed my boss and my deputy. Tomorrow morning, I took off. Honestly, I not even think, that I'd stand up before 10 a.m. if the day before, I've been at a concert.

Today's motto: There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. Logan Pearsall Smith

Ill

HiU

I just shortly want to write in here, that in the moment I don't feel good (I'm ill, -emesis) and will come back here to continue my blog latest Thursday, 25.10.2007.

Sorry!

Best,

Harry

Red Pants

Salli

Yesterday evening I still had a meeting whit a good guy, but with a very strange project. Imagine company X wants a financing of US$ -XX-, but because company X is in a foreign country, company Y will realize the financing. The only connection between these two companies is the CEO and member of the board. As guarantee, company X would give us their patent on their product X-1. But because our contract party, would be company Y and not company X, the patent maybe wont carry on. Now, if any one of you has got a possibility, feel free to contact me. I'm very interested to your solutions! (Please don't write, if your solution has anything to do with any kind of lease-modell.) ;-)

So as I left the meeting, I saw something really awful. A man walking up the hill and next to the street with very nice red pants... Red pant! Look at the pic! What do you think about?

This morning I had a really smooth and easy going time. I stood up late, prepaired myself late, went to office late and now working till leaving again early... :-)

Now what have we got interesting to talk about today? Let's take up once again the subject of motivating yourself. Reasonable, you need an other meaning, to your actual situation. Most of the people aren't motivated, because the reason, where they are in the moment let them be caught up easily. Ask yourself the right questions! Here some proposals:

• What has to change right now, that I can change my actual state?
• How can I gain fun, by doing, what I have to do?
• Am I doing the best possible, to make my time profitable right now?
• How can I do the issue/work smart rather than hard?
• On what shall I give my focus?

Generally you should ask yourself questions, which are directed to your moment state and/or futur. The best way, how to be motivated, is if you get a kind of leverage. Somewhere, where you can build pressure and convert it into positive directions.

You're influenced by pain or pleasure. Those two components are the driving force in each human life. Either you do something to gain pleasure, or you do something to release pain. So get the point of view, regarding this laverage, by the following example.

So if you're near by a bore-out syndrom at work. You're either not being challenged or you might be overstrained.

If you're not challenged, search for a challenge. The laverage would maybe be to gain more responsibility by becomming more. (Easy possible, by just asking your boss, what you could do more, than sitting there and looking at the monitor.) -So in this case, you hunt after the next compliment of your boss. -Gain pleasure.

Or you build up the image, that you're overstrained. So in this case, it might be the view: If I don't start doing something, my boss will not be happy with me, I might loose the job and can't pay my accounts more at the end of month. Make this image more powerful, by looking at the futured situation without having this job. I guess, that in this case, you will find your second gear to speed up quality and quantity... -You abscond away from this image.

And to optimize the whole story on this example, do both... so here you got the ultimative laverage. Moving toward to the next compliment of your boss and run away from the image, that you could loose all you've got!

In any given situation, you can figure out such new point of view.

I can do it in so many areas, there are things, where I should be possible do it, but I don't. Why? Because I give an other intent on it, than in other areas. My opinion is, that this is human. There are people, they are so good in this, that they can do it in almost any given situation and master it in excellence. So those peoples are my target... -Not those, who are even more weak than I.

For the sharp one under yourself: See NAC of Tony Robbins!

Dear readers, I want to thank you for your support and in this go, I wish you a nice and exciting weekend.

Today's motto: Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible. Francis of Asisi