collapse like a house of cards

Hello

In the moment I got so many things to do. Many things seem like taking overhand over my particular situation in life.

As I wrote, I had an attack last weekend. Now Fabienne's father brought himself in the loop. He wanted to give me background-informations and wanted to backup my knowhow regarding this attack. As I got myself some persons in my family, which do have epilepsy as a sickness. I had myself in the past two attacks in regard of having them provokated. Those ones meen, that I had two provokative epileptic attacks. Provokated meens from outside on, such comes from drugs, alcohol, flashlights, etc...

I'm always honest, so this time, I had it with a mixture of drugs and alcohol. Would this meen now, that I should stop taking drugs or alcohol? -Maybe, but it's not confirmed, that I should have had an epileptic attack. Well I had one for sure, but I don't know yet, if it's a sickness! In 1997 and 2004 I had also attacks and the hospitals have checked me in the EKG and EEG. With the last one, an epileptic showes clear curves in a raster - I didn't! Also within the second time, there where no curves around.

Now, because of this what happened, her father suggest, I should preventive avoid any situation, where a guy, who has got this as a sickness may fall into an other attack. That would also meen stop to skin up! -And to tell you, I don't want to stop this, unless it isn't confirmed, that I HAVE to... ;-)

I know, the best would be, to completely drop all those stuffs and direction a new healthy way! But I just can't imagine it. I still link too much pleasure with than without. And here I am...

Well yeah, I wrote her father again a letter back. In there I wrote, that I accept his views and that I got my own. Than I called Fabienne to inform her, what I'm gonna write her father. My gosh...! Wipe-out! As she took of the phone, I heared a sniff in my ear. Than I asked, what's up and she yelled inside the hearer. Before I called I wrote her a text, that with a huge possibility, she'll side on her fathers view. But this sentence didn't fall on fertile soil! And just along this small dispute, I had again one hour of my workingtime passing by... I hate it, if there's something private reflecting my business. And so I hang up! She called again and my colleague forwarded Fabienne again to me. -Later the same guy came to me and said: "What was this for a crosspatch!?" -I answered with "my girlfriend"

Before he turned red, I told him it's okay... She just had a long day...! But you should have seen him... some how like jitter...

Nevermind at last. I told her, that I got other, more important things to do... and so I postponed our chat to somewhen later. (And as I learned, don't say a lady, that you got better things to do... -bad idea) ;-)

Well, did I work since our dispute? -No, I just hang around and thought how bad the timing for such shit is. But in fact, tomorrow I have to show again 110% of my mastery. Motivation comes with the challenge!

By the way on the pic, you find da Vinci's first draw about an epileptic. Supported by neuro24.com // which also write at their homepage, that an attack isn't the sickness and that you at least have to have twice an attack without any trigger (lack of sleep, drugs, alc...)

Today's motto: Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. Mark Twain