Yesterday I had once again a too long discussion with my honey. She has been fair to me and did ask, if I want to see her in the evening. But because I had the whole week long, a party around me in the evenings, I answered her question with no and an explanation why.
For the next 30 minutes or so she didn't give any reaction to this. I asked what was wrong, and still I received no answer. I took her silence for a sign that she was in no good condition and hurt because of my refuse, but it was definetly non of my purpose to hurt her in any way. So I wrote her again, and she then answered with "I don't want to say anything about that....". You can imagine that from my point of view such words are no good answer at all, because they show no targets in a discussion like this and no focus on something positive. They only make you feel like standing out there in the rain and the door is being shut in front of you, although you had no bad purpose at all.
So I aproached her again in a way that made it obvious to her, that I was neither able nor willing to continue our talk like this, that I felt misunderstood and negatively touched by her attitude. Than I got different reproaches, that I'm the one, who doesn't empathize and such of an arrogance and so on. I tried, not to let me get infected, that in the end, I'd give her back the same way. And it held on up to the later afternoon. Emotionally, it took me away from work. It just deflected me from my job. I couldn't focus.
On one hand, I wanted to make a good job (as I also did in the end), and on the other hand, I didn't like a dispute with her. But my honest reply on her question, did probabely not suite her expectation. And I could have made it worse, by just make her some reproaches.
-As you might guess them, because I won't write them out here! ;-)
But no, I thought by myself, that I better not do any reaction on her approach. She felt herself twit and reacted in this way. I can understand her and I also know, that you don't have to ask anyone, if your questioning is just pro forma! If you anyway want to hear just one answer, you better don't ask! You better surprize the person (by just visiting him) and get him settled back again.
My perspective on such manners are deduced on the holy law. -The bible. So I made some research on this and looked after simply duties of man and woman. Those duties are so simple!
Man:
- You have to care for the woman in each way.
- You have to give her the feeling of being safe.
- You have to give her love
- You have to care for the man in each way.
- You have to give him a place where he can calm down and relax.
- You have to give him love
Yesterday, probabely both sides, weren't on track with does simple roulez above. Then this morning, I really showed her again, a fair approach. I told her, that I love her and I wish her a nice day. She wrote back, that she stayed at home, didn't feel well enough to go to work. -Like this time is already the second time, after her holiday work at the same company. So I just asked her, how she thinks about that fact. Well it seems, like this again has opened up something. I'm just getting very short written answers back again. Somehow, I'm not in mood, to get me back in yesterday's condition, so I just don't react anymore. I have to focus on my work.
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Than today morning, I received a call, from a very interesting guy. He wants to make a relly huge project, where we could offer him the finances. Why? -Because his assets are so good, that we don't need actually to finance them, but they just want - for taxreasons and such.
I really want to get him on board. Because he as person has a very interesting track record. I have to look, that I won't let any infos out. I won't say who, nor what, nor how much. The only thing I can say honestly, is it's quite a piece of cake... ;-)
Today's motto: -Never let yourself pull down by the miserable of others, look that you impact your 'good' mood to them! hth
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